I have decided that love is the most powerful thing in the universe. Today I feel both loved and loving, which by the logic presented in the previous sentence gives me great power. Some of the love I've been feeling today (or at least the expression of said love) has been slightly humorous, and some has been meaningful and deep beyond what I can adequately describe with words.
This morning I was playing and laughing with my baby boy. I do this often. It is one of my favorite things to do. At times while interacting with my baby a very powerful love just sweeps over me and fills my whole being. I love my son so much. He is one of the most precious souls in the whole world and he's been entrusted to me! Today as I was filling as if I may burst with the love I have for my son I found an outlet in singing. I began to sing "I love you like..." adding strange new versus such as "I love you like fires love flames, like parties love games...and so on. It is strange how that song seemed so corny in a romantic way, but sing it to your baby and it is perfect (so long as you change the "I want to marry you" line to "it is completely true" or "oh, yes I really do"). I sang that song most of the morning, coming up with many new versus and all the while feeling that I could not possibly feel more love than I was feeling at that moment for my sweet baby James. Then, later in the day, when I saw my Spencer and gave him his "Hello, welcome home from work" kiss I felt that same level of love only slightly different. It is such a strange and incredible feeling, like loving at your maximal capacity. And in the moments where you are loving at your maximal capacity it is hard to imagine being able to love more. Thankfully God can increase our capacity to love and be loved, which brings me to the amazing conclusion of my lovely day.
As hinted at above, I came to a great realization this evening. It was not an earthshatteringly new idea, but today it sunk deep into the depths of my very soul--leaving me feeling loved beyond measure. The idea (or belief) is this: I am of infinite worth; redeemed by my savior and unquestionably worth it. The savior didn't look at our sins and us and decide hmmm... I don't know if this one's worth the pain. The savior knew we were of infinite worth, children of God. Because of that knowledge he was willing to undergo the atonement, and suffer for all of our sins, our pains, and our heartaches. Thus, making it possible for us to return to the presence of our father, the God of all the universe. What an amazing thought. Infinite worth, worth beyond measure. That is the value our savior and heavenly father have placed upon each one of us, and thus it is, in fact, our value. Whether or not we feel worth it we are, because God says so, and what God says is. As I pondered this and let it really sink into my being I felt what can only be described as a heavenly hug; a divine manifestation that everything I just thought about was true and that my Father in Heaven was pleased that I had finally come to fully realize what had always been true about me.
It has been a lovely day and I hope that you have felt some of the love, as I've shared the story of my wonderful day with you.
